WARNING: Only use in desparate times---actually don't use these at all.

What not to say!


Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boyfriend?

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

Do you want to see something swell?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

Do you have a band-Aid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a map? Cuz Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

Girl, you gotta be tired cuz you been runnin' through my mind all day.

Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.

Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.


Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.

Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

Was you Father an Alien? Cuz honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!